When Self-criticism goes Wrong.....

My ideal vision for this blog was something simple and straight out. Moreover, I wanted to write the things that are actually perceived from my own experience. Yet, I took my time to know what others think about being a Self-critic (out of curiosity). Astonishingly, I found out-- not many comply to my findings.

 There are certain requisites that are expected from people who are kindred to some storytelling stage. That is why, I can not force my ideas on you, nor do I intend to. Also, I don’t think all those distinct views are a complete baloney. Hence, the post might turn out a combination of many things.

 Coming to point of confusion-- why self-criticism (Critical thinking) is considered as something that people should not do? As you can see, my title says -- when self-criticism goes wrong.. That means, I do not think the idea itself is erratic, there are ways to do it right.

 Are you a Self-critic?

There’s one attention-seeking voice inside us. No matter the place or situation we hear it. In fact, the lines you’re reading right now is something that streamed into my head, when I opened my eyes at 4’o clock, this morning. While, in these past few days, there was no hint or sign of telling me to “do this way” or “write that way”.

Even though the inner voice has an attention-grabbing nature, if the person is not a true seeker, it doesn’t resonate loudly. At the end, you hear nothing or hear something that drives the consciousness to an exiled land, where you’re forced to embrace dormancy (A state of doing nothing). That is where being a self-critic drains your mental health.

So how do we know which of our inner voices to listen to?

Believe It or Not, We Do Choose Our Thoughts -- says Louise Lynn Hay. Self-criticism should be an act of self-evaluation with enormous compassion towards yourself. And you always have the options of refusing certain thoughts. Look how often you have refused to think a positive thought about yourself. Well, you can also refuse to think a negative thought about yourself. She also adds, Whatever happens, “out there” is only a mirror of our own inner thinking.

Women and Self-criticism


(The Dance of the Inner Voice by Natalie Dekel)

Now, I am not trying to give you any kind of gender-biased conjectures. It’s just that, I wholeheartedly understand-- there’s no extent to how viciously we treat ourselves sometimes.

The barriers of self-esteemness - who doesn’t have it? As we put efforts on our abilities to see beyond our present selves, we often tend to do continuous self-evaluation. We go back and forth and become self-critically conscious. We start to notice factors we like and dislike. We indulge in ourselves a little more and find the point of progress.

Does that mean my self-criticism turns me into a better human being?

Women are one self-conscious creature who tend to act on what other people think of them. We are always aware of our own flaws. And many times, people around us are more responsible for that. In the process of self-correction, we might end up fabricating ourselves with gibberish ideas about- how out of order we are. 

So, it is not rare to have the feelings of incompetence, that overwhelms the endemic space of our mind. Which is why I don’t want to tell you that-- tomorrow will be one hopeful day. The sun will rise-- bringing you the brimming happiness and harmony. Maybe tomorrow could be another of your typical days, where you get the feeling that you don’t even know what you are truly feeling.

Therefore, think of your self-critic as an archetype that co-exists within you and you need to interpret its symbols accurately.

Some of the best quotes:

My demons,

Though quiet,

Are never quite silenced.

Calm as they may be,

They wait patiently

For a reason to wake,

Take an overdue breath,

And crawl back to my ear. - Anonymous


What’s wrong?

“Oh, just tired.” 

Tired of not being good enough.

Tired of trying and not getting.

Tired of getting put down.

Tired of back stabbers.

Tired of crying.

Tired of insecurities.

Tired of not being confident.

Tired of being me.

Tired of getting tired. - Anonymous 


If you are having similar conclusions regarding yourself after reading these statements, then this is a must-read quote for you.. 

You might be told by the critics that you're too fat, too old, too young, not intelligent enough, a quitter, not logical, prone to try too many things...

It's all balderdash!

Some elements of these may be true, and it's completely up to you how they affect you. Inside critics are really just trying to protect you. You can:

Learn to dialogue with them.

Give them new jobs.

Turn them into allies.

You can also dismantle/exterminate them.S.A.R.K


-- To be Continued

(P.S. this is a series post, that means it doesn't end here. We have lot to discuss on this topic.. I am also interested to hear what blogs, books, and sites you're following that is related to the topics I write about. In addition, I would love to see a lovely message or reply from you in my inbox ipsita@visiontemenos.com. Let me know if you're interested for a quick chat!)

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